A bad day is just that: it’s only a day. See it as something finite, limited to the hours you have to stay awake for it. It would make it more bearable.
Our tips below are sorted into two situations:
- You have to keep going.
- You have time for a break.
Pick the one closest to your current situation. Let’s go.
Have to keep going? Emergency tips
You have some time before the next (likely terrible) thing happens. You decide to spend it by reading this article. We are honored to have your attention, dear reader!
It is the worst of the two cases: you are right in the middle.
How to cope and turn it around?
Get a handle on your emotions
“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.”
― Sabaa Tahir, A Torch Against the Night
Bad days come with a barrage of intense, negative emotions.
Honor your feelings, but don’t let them sweep you away:
- Take a deep breath
- Name your emotions
- Why are you feeling this way?
- Take another deep breath.
- Imagine what you would do. If you were angry about the traffic jam, imagine what it would feel like running through the vehicles in front of you like a giant tornado.
- It is okay if you cannot do that. The imagination helps relieve the urgency of acting out on your worst impulses.
- Playing the gratifying scenario in your head also helps you avoid suppressing your emotions, lest they erupt later.
- When it becomes too much, take deep breaths.
- Count to 10.
- What’s the next best thing you can do right now?
You may want to cry, snap, shout, punch, letting it all out.
Or you can take constructive action that moves you one step closer to solving the problem.
Either way, this process allows you to sit with your negative emotions for a while. You may fume, rant, or despair, but acknowledging them already helps rein them in so they would not egg you on and likely make the day even worse.
Recall your bad days as achievements
“Bad days give experience and worst days give lessons.”
― Brajesh Kumar Singh
What is life without some gloomy days and some shiny days? Accept the pre-eternal fact that if you have good days, you will eventually have bad days. Indeed, recall all your bad days, but retell them as a feat in endurance, resourcefulness, or flexibility. Draw upon your experience, and comfort yourself with the pride that you went through them and survived.
You would be able to sail through it again.
Prioritize & get help
“The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Focus on the essential tasks that only you can do.
Get help on urgent but non-essential tasks. Choose someone reliable and supportive to delegate.
It is when you can see who can be there for you.
Finally, remove the non-essential and non-urgent tasks. Choose your battles carefully. Do you have to fight with your landlord about the leaking pipes again when you have missed a work deadline?
Reframe the situation
“When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge — every adversity — contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Is there an opportunity you missed? There are two sides to the same coin. What is going wrong today is a chance for you to introduce a change you’ve longed for.
Have time for a break? Breather tips
Here are some tips for when you can finally sit back and breathe.
Get grounded with your senses
“If you rely only on your eyes, your other senses weaken.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune
Sometimes we are way in over our heads. Our anger, frustration, or restlessness run high, clouding our perspective of the physical reality that things are not all that bad. Yet, we believe they are wrong, so we react in a way that makes them worse. Inadvertently, we form our vicious cycle of negativity.
To break out of this cycle, get grounded with your five senses.
See
“Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Observe something mesmerizing, inspirational, or cute: a painting, a cute animal, an innocent child, a scenery, an intricate design, or an enjoyable game. Pull all your focus onto the finer details as if you had to draw them by hand. Appreciate how beautiful it is; how much work (and blunders) went into making it.
It’s best to choose something concrete or analog, not digital. But if digital is your only option, try Unsplash or 500px for stunning visuals and photography.
Hear
“One of my favorite things to do is to play music loud and dance my butt off in the morning. I’ll do it alone in my apartment. You can’t have a bad day after that.”
― Allison Williams
Listen to the music that speaks to you right now. If you’re sad, don’t try to cheer up with upbeat tracks – the emotional discordance may make you even more miserable. Melancholic tunes that reflect how you are feeling may be more cathartic. It feels like the song speaks your heart when you cannot.
Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you. Suppose you can go somewhere with nature sounds, all the better. Otherwise, ambiance or ASMR videos on YouTube can transport you to a happier place for a while.
Smell
“Nothing revives the past so completely as a smell that was once associated with it.”
― Vladimir Nabokov
Plenty of choices here:
Take a deep breath. Is the air cold or hot? Any wind? Any smell? Count 4 for inhaling, 4 for holding your breath, and 6 for exhaling.
Smell something natural: coffee beans, fruit peels, aromatic spices, fresh blooms, green leaves, or the river wind, depending on how much nature surrounds you.
Smell something manufactured: candles, room mists, essential oil, perfume, or clean fabric.
Taste
“Eating something fresh out of the oven is like a hug you can taste.”
― Regina Brett
Food and drinks have a potent property to comfort us. If you are on a diet, today may be your cheat day. If you are not, look for measured satisfaction, such as:
– a small piece of exquisite chocolate
– one buttery biscuit
– a scoop of creamy ice cream
– half a glass of smoky red wine
– whatever your guilty pleasure may be
Savor the taste, and let it linger on your tastebud. Good things in small quantities feel even more luxurious.
Beware of addictions, though – over-drinking, over-eating, or too much sugar may worsen your lousy day.
Touch
“The gown was still warm from having been pressed, and the ruffles tickled her collarbone as she slipped it onto her body.”
― Elizabeth Lim, So This is Love
Pet the furry soft body of a friendly dog or a cat or stroke a soft toy.
Apply some ice onto your skin.
Snap a rubber band against your wrist.
Run your hand through the texture of fine fabrics: delicate silk, cozy wool, luxurious velvet, or smooth leather.
If you have a stress ball, squeeze it as hard as possible.
If you have a hobby you can do it with your hands: crafting, gardening, cooking, do a little bit of it. Pay attention to the feel of the tools and the materials – be mindful of the process, not the product.
Go barefoot on the ground, the grass, the tiles. Revel in how it feels under your feet.
Get a massage, shower, or hug someone who makes you feel safe.
Have time to think? Rationale tips
Sometimes, you must step back and reassess the situation based on facts rather than emotions.
Review what went wrong
“Question: Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
Answer: He’s all-right now.”
#bad-day-jokes
There is wisdom in hindsight. Reviewing what went wrong to see what you could have done differently next time, and prepare for it.
The silver lining of a bad day? It can help you improve.
Recognize your capability
Why did the Russian chef crack under pressure?
Because he wasn’t stroganoff.
#bad-day-jokes
You may excel at acting under pressure. If you are gifted with the ability to go with the flow, then a bad day is when you showcase your flexibility and risk-taking attitude. Sure, it is terrible, but it also brings out your best. Gather these examples – they may be necessary for reminders of what you can do.
Give yourself a small reward
Question: Why did the scarecrow get a reward?
Answer: He was out-standing in his field.
#bad-day-jokes
It may seem contrary – after all, maybe nothing you have done today warrants a reward. But this may be when a bonus feels the most gratifying, especially when what happened was totally out of your control.
Think you don’t deserve it? Surviving a lousy day merits recognition – it proves your resilience. Many would give it up, but you want to be strong, so you’re reading this article. And that earns due recognition.
Share your experience
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Talk to a friend or search for people’s stories of bad days online. Bad days make relatable stories because they help us commiserate with millions who also have had bad days. It is an unavoidable part of life, and it helps us appreciate the good days.
It could be worse
“More often than not, bad things only seem big because they talk themselves up in our head.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough
If you still have time to read this article, your bad day is likely still bearable compared to the earth-shattering, life-changing events that all of us have, or will, go through.
Make better plans
“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations if you live near one.” – J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
Bad days are often flawed because of things you did not expect. How could you avoid what happened?
Making better plans reassures you that bad things won’t likely happen again.
Difficulties make us wiser this way.
Help someone else
“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey.
At other times, it is allowing another to take yours.”
― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration
It could be isolating to go through a bad day losing faith in the world’s goodness.
Some of us take comfort in putting a smile on someone’s face. Make other people feel hopeful so that the positive feelings spread to you.
It is rewarding to know you are making a real difference, despite the negativity.
It won’t last
“A bad day doesn’t cancel out a good life. Keep going.”
― Richie Norton
A bad day is just a day. It’s not a bad week, not even a bad month. It won’t last. We can begin the next day anew.
Turning a bad day around means making peace with negativity
You may be done with the day, but the sour tastes of what happened to linger. You cannot rest. You may feel jumpy, tense, or numb. You lose your appetite. Your head plays on a loop about how horrible things will happen again.
Anticipating future problems is a survival instinct. But like allergies, the mechanisms that supposedly protect us sometimes turn against us.
How to let go of a bad day?
Take care of yourself: do light exercises, eat well, drink water, and have an early night. Recharge, so you can be ready to fight the next day.
It is what it is.
